Merchandise Materials: Let’s Talk Swords

SEE ADDENDUM BELOW. 09/30/15.

I imagined multiple ways of announcing my return to ASV after the summer hiatus, but found no excuse worthy of extrapolation. Perhaps you’d like to hear about how typing coherently is nigh impossible with a three-year-old yelping about dinosaurs in your ear, but I doubt it. Maybe you’d accept my apologies for writer’s block or for a slothful muse who hitchhiked to Buenos Aires instead of staying ever faithful by my side.

No? That’s all right. Because the truth is . . . well, you see, I . . . okay, so I made that promise about finishing Alphabet Cinema by April, right? Well, actually it was an Unbreakable Vow, so consequently I lost my magic and thus spent months in the desert seeking a shaman to grant me a deal with four foul demons in order to reinstate my powers. The fact that I’m back here now, submitting a horribly belated Tuesday Threads post can only lead you to one conclusion. Obviously.

So let’s talk swords.

Sharp objects have long been a fascination of mine, ever since I killed someone held my uncle’s (dulled) katana prop as a child. The heft and sheen of it beat the hell outta plastic dollar-store short swords any day. That awe remains today, fueled in no small amount by franchises like LotR and GoT. And so I find myself occasionally browser-shopping on the Weta Workshop, staring at authentic replicas such as the elven blade Orcrist.

The Goblin Cleaver, sword and scabbard for $9,900.00 USD

No, not all prop replicas are that pricey, keep breathing. In fact, I believe our replica of Radagast’s staff was only $250 USD or so. ‘Course, the staff has no sharp edges to forge, only a turquoise crystal for the top (that broke, but was replaced free of charge).

Next on our wishlist, however, would be definitely be a blade. Glamdring, to be precise.

“Gandalf stood in the middle of the span, leaning on the staff in his left hand, but in his other hand Glamdring gleamed, cold and white. “

United Cutlery constructs a myriad of weaponry that involve slicing and dicing, as well as officially licensed replicas, at a more affordable cost. They’re stainless steel and focused on details like leather grips, jewels, and sheer “Look what I have proudly displayed on my wall!!!” factor.

Amazon supports United Cutlery, as well, if you’re an Amazonier/Amazonian(?). Otherwise, another popular place is the smile-inducing Replica Dungeon. They’ve medieval armor and shields, Legend of Zelda weapons (Master Sword, anyone?), Bleach (sorry, Renji’s Zanpakuto does not extend into sections), and even zombie apocalypse gear.

Labelled “Zombie Armageddon War Blades.” I actually bought these at a convention; I just remembered. Hmm. I guess I’m ready for zombies.

Initially, I started looking for Glamdring to complete my husband’s Gandalf costume. However, this Halloween, it’s been put on hold for. . .what else? STAR WARS!!! Which means sewing even more robes and cloaks and mysteriously deep cowls–AUGHH!–but I can deal with that! As long as a Force FX lightsaber can somehow find its way to me.

Yeesss, more replicas. This time from Ultra Force Sabers.

My son’s plastic extendable toy will never defeat me!!!

Removable polycarbonate blades with LEDs and motion/clash sound effects. $160 US–not bad, yes? Keep in mind, though, these aren’t exactly battle ready unless you buy the upgraded versions. About $335 US. (My brain says yes; my wallet says no. What to do. . .)

Anyway, that’s enough dreaming for the moment. I really need to go sew first.

ADDENDUM: 

My post seems to have spurred my husband into researching which ones are the best for himself and he found a posting on reddit with some detail descriptions by u/dddash. It’s a good read, with first-hand accounts of saber handling and durability. If you’re interested, have a read here, and visit his go-to lightsaber site: Ultrasabers.com. I know, I know, it sounds awfully similar to the one above, but ’tis different.

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