Category Archives: Reviews

This Is About a Game Called “Undertale.”

Here I am. Back from the land of the dead. How long has it been since I wrote something here? A year? Probably more. I ask myself why I am here. I don’t really know. I mean I DO know, but I uhh . . .

Look.

I will talk shortly about a game. A game I’ve just recently finished. There are no plot or story spoilers here but there are some out-of-context images that are visual spoilers; it would hurt me physically to spoil this game. Nope, and no tips or tricks on how to play it either. I’m not even reviewing it or rating it this is a review, Tyler, you idiot.

undertale6100

It is–without a doubt–the best game I’ve ever played.

Continue reading This Is About a Game Called “Undertale.”

“Killjoys”: Filling the Void in Science Fiction Television

The science fiction genre has its own, weird little niche in the television world. Despite the increasing mainstream success of Game of Thrones, which, let us be clear, falls under the purview of “fantasy,” shows like Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Battlestar Galactica remain stimuli for scoffs and sneers by losers with no taste average persons. “It’s cheesy!” they’ll say, or “It just doesn’t make any sense,” they’ll say, decrying a particular show’s sorry special effects or stilted acting. These are understandable reasons for avoiding science fiction TV. But stay with me here. I think I might start actually saying something.

Continue reading “Killjoys”: Filling the Void in Science Fiction Television

The Comic Book That Started It All (For Me)

Despite my seething desire to one day walk those hallowed halls of Comic-Con, I have to confess that I’ve never actually read a comic book. At least, not one that I can remember, not one that made any kind of impact on me. Sure, growing up, I’d read the “funnies”–comic strips like FoxTrot, or Garfield–but nothing concerning radioactive spiders or international leagues of justice. That particular action-hero material was what appeared on television, in the form of shows like Batman: The Animated Series, or X-Men: Evolution.

It just never occurred to my younger self to pick up a comic book, when a moving, animated, and voiced version was just a remote control button away. Until now. Continue reading The Comic Book That Started It All (For Me)

Throwback Thursday: Earliest PC Games from Childhood

Also known as the games I played as a kid that endeared me forevermore to the puzzle genre. Sure, later, there came Nintendo and PlayStation, and with them the RPGs that dominated my life (I’m looking at you, Ocarina of Time, and FFIX). However, once upon a time, we only had one little computer in my home.

My father would play Solitaire (still does, in fact, though now there’s also Free Cell), but my brothers and I, we’d tackle the simple pixels of Rodents Revenge and Chip’s Challenge

Trap the cats. Eat (i.e. crush) the cheese. Don’t die more than three times.

Continue reading Throwback Thursday: Earliest PC Games from Childhood

Alphabet Cinema: “F” is for “Fantasia/2000”

Yes, I’m falling behind a bit. My goal was to be halfway through the alphabet by now, but apparently writing while my toddler remains conscious simply won’t appease the little monkey/kitty/whatever animal the Chinese zodiac professes him to be.

So, in light of that, I’m going to review Netflix’s Fireplace For Your Home (2011) instead. It was a very nice alternative to actually blowing a hole in my southwestern home, erecting a brick chimney, and burning various chunks of dead tree. Also, if I donned headphones and stared at the screen, the crackling flames incited some nice ASMR. All I missed was the ashy aroma. Dang.

No, really. I’m not reviewing Netflix’s prank turned popular streaming video. I mean, I could, but I’d probably descend into some kind of philosophical musing and/or hypnotic state full of nonsensical drabble. And ain’t nobody got time for that.

But then, who has time for an hour and fifteen minutes of Fantasia/2000 (1999)? People who stay home with young children, like me, of course (read: people who would watch anything for a break from Thomas the Freaking Tank Engine). Continue reading Alphabet Cinema: “F” is for “Fantasia/2000”

Alphabet Cinema: “E” is for “Escape to Witch Mountain (1975)”

The first time I watched the 1995 version of this movie on the Disney Channel, I completely loved it. It’s a little kid’s dream, after all. Finding out you have telekinesis and telepathy, then discovering that your long-lost twin has them, too! Oh, but wait, then a rich old man wants to adopt you both in order to use your powers for his own nefarious purposes (like, gambling, people; keep it rated G).

He gives you a mansion and all sorts of toys and ice cream to keep you happy, but your twin gets bad vibes so you escape on a horse, with whom you can communicate mentally. So ensues a chase ‘cross the countryside, the man’s butler hot on your heels.

All the while, you strive to reach Witch Mountain. You don’t really know why, but just maybe, getting there will explain how you got these extraterrestrial powers and who knows? Perhaps finally, you’ll be home.  Continue reading Alphabet Cinema: “E” is for “Escape to Witch Mountain (1975)”

“Maleficent” Review: Faeries and Spindles

Watching Maleficent (2014) was like watching a birds-of-paradise flower bloom backwards. I suppose this isn’t surprising given director Robert Stromberg‘s (The Golden Compass, Pan’s Labyrinth) known background in visual effects (he’s supervised a TON of stuff you probably watched and loved).

Concept art
See? Twinges of Pan’s Labyrinth.

Well, Maleficent overflowed with gorgeous background and color. Lighting designed to offset pale skin and red lips, SFX effects to glitter and dazzle, CGI green fire (that wasn’t wildfire) for classic intimidation — all of it were nice touches to an infamous Disney villain’s backstory.

Writer Linda Woolverton (screenplay for The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Alice in Wonderland) et. al. may have switched perspectives to tell this tale, but overall, although the beginning held much promise and intrigue, I felt it lacked a more satisfying end. Continue reading “Maleficent” Review: Faeries and Spindles

Alphabet Cinema: “C” is for “Cupcake Wars”

It’s what came up when I searched “C” on Netflix, I promise! Truly, I wasn’t going to pick it buuuttt, then I saw the title of Season 8, Episode 14 (original air date July 7, 2013; on Netflix, it’s S1E24). That’s right, Philip! It’s your waking nightmare, the Blue Man Group!!! Aren’t you just elated, brother? I’ll just imagine that you are, instead of slightly nauseated.

For those going “huh?” the Blue Man Group is one of the most popular and beloved performance groups on the Las Vegas Strip. Audiences across the world have ventured to take part in their interactive musical experience. They combine unique, sometimes bizarre instruments with lights and technology into wondrous beats and melodies that celebrate life.

Continue reading Alphabet Cinema: “C” is for “Cupcake Wars”

Alphabet Cinema: “B” is for “Being Human”

Network: Syfy
Starring: Sam Witwer, Meaghan Rath, Sam Huntington
Genres: Fantasy, Drama, Horror

I hadn’t even known about the BBC series until after I watched the pilot. My apologies to those fans. In retrospect, I should have figured it out when my search for season 1 images turned up a completely different trio of actors. Dense Christine is dense.

My first Netflix search for “B” actually brought up the movie Behaving Badly (2014), which I thought sounded nicely relevant to ASV and clicked on it. Then a slew of “ack-Selena-Gomez-in-crappy-teenage-rom-com” jolted me right back to the main menu. My fingers have great reflexes, I swear. Anyway, that’s how I found Being Human (2011-Ongoing): “There Goes the Neighborhood Parts 1 & 2.”

Continue reading Alphabet Cinema: “B” is for “Being Human”